This Fourth of July, forget the fireworks, it’s all about setting off sparks in an entirely new way! Deep in the heart of Central Florida, where even the air sweats, a unique event is set to light up the night: the 4th annual Clothing Independence Day Tournament at the Cypress Cove Nudist Resort in Kissimmee. (Yes, you heard right. Clothing? Who needs it! 😉)
“Shed your inhibitions, and your clothes, as we dive into a ‘ball’ of a time!”
A Nudist Who Loves To Dink It Hard
This pickleball extravaganza promises laughs, camaraderie, and enough bizarre memories to last a lifetime. (You might want to leave Grandma’s pearls at home for this one!) 🤣 🍆🍆🍆
An Unforgettable “Match” Made in Heaven 👀
Did we mention the stunning pickleball setup at this, erm, liberating locale? Our USA Pickleball ambassador, Mike Sullivan, assures us it’s a sight to behold. He’s been bearing witness to the madness since the Brits first defaced a tennis court in 2008 with a couple of rogue chalk lines and some freely flapping flab (legend has it that the inaugural nude tourney took place on a cold and windy day in the coastal town of Norfolk, apparently shrinkage was a huge issue). Now, six courts and over 200 players later, pickleball is the resort’s not-so-secret obsession and all the residents have been tanning their nethers and shaving their paddle shafts (or trimming their kitchen lines) in anticipation of this event.
“Clothes? Overrated. Pickleball? Never enough!”
Betty in the Sahara Sweet
🍆The Game’s Afoot…or A-BUTT And A-Naked 🙈
Brace yourself, intrepid explorer, for the games Sullivan’s cooked up for you. No, he isn’t an evil mastermind, just a guy with a flair for dramatics and a soft spot for the unexpected. The score, mystifyingly, begins at 5-5-2, setting the stage for a wickedly entertaining contest. And each unforced error is akin to leaving your fly open—embarrassing and costly, earning your team a one-point deduction. 😳 🍆
But worry not, for each well-placed winning shot — the kind that leaves your opponents as exposed as your…never mind — rewards you with a point. Be the first to score a tantalizing eleven, or be left bare in defeat. It’s a race against time with a seven-minute limit; when the time’s up, the team leading scores a cheeky win.
“Bare-kleball” Etiquette 101
The dress code? Anything goes! From fully clothed to birthday suited, it’s all about personal comfort and taking the game in stride. So, whether you choose to bare it all or play it safe, we’ve got you covered…or not. 😜
“Free the pickle, free the soul!”
A srsly proud nudist with a great lob serve
Mike Sullivan, the unsung hero of naked pickleball, invites you to take a dip into the deep end of this epic event. He promises that once you’ve had a taste of clothing-free competition, you’ll be hooked for life. The proverbial veil of modesty shall be lifted, and you’ll be left basking in the glorious truth of existence.
Join the Revelry! 🎊
So, what are you waiting for? Come down to [insert website here] and sign up for a pickleball experience that’s as unique as a pair of striped neon pickleball shorts. Embrace the chaos, and remember…
“In the realm of pickleball, it’s not about what you wear, but how you play…and how much sunscreen you’ve packed!”
Pammy got a serious burn on her bum last year.
Remember, folks, at Cypress Cove, it’s all fun and games until someone forgets the SPF! 🌞🏐🍑
The Perfect Paddle for Naked Play?
You might think the paddle you’re clothed would work just as well when swinging with your pickle out. And you’re right! I, for one, like nothing better then resting my junk on the face of my beautiful Invikta air between games. I’d show a pic but no one really wants to see that except my wife.
I hail from the picturesque landscapes of Denver, Colorado, where the pickleball scene is as vibrant as our city's sunsets. The game has changed my life in ways I never thought a sport could. You see, before I got hooked, my closest encounter with a racket was a fly swatter.
As far as my coaching credentials go, well, it's a classic underdog story. I was once the guy who couldn't tell a pickleball paddle from a pizza peel, and now I'm proudly sporting the title of Master Teaching Professional from the IPTPA. If that doesn't give hope to all my fellow klutzes, I don't know what will!
My love for pickleball goes far beyond the court. I run the In2Pickle YouTube channel, which is a blend of pickleball tactics, bloopers (mostly mine), and heartfelt stories from players whose lives have been touched by the sport. If you're more into listening than watching, you can catch me chatting about everything pickleball-related on my Pickleball Therapy podcast. And if that isn't enough, I've also penned a book titled "Play Pickleball", where I share everything from basic rules to advanced strategies, and of course, anecdotes of my own hilarious mishaps.
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